HBO Max Returns, a Shell of Its Former Self
It’s the end of an error. After more than two years as “Max,” HBO’s flagship streamer is once again called “HBO Max.”
Why did the service change its name? Well, Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav is an incompetent boob, and he thought it would make sense to shove prestige television into the same streaming service as dumb reality shows.
Having realized that no one cares about the kind of TV you see in your dentist’s waiting room, Zaslav finally discovered that the HBO name was actually a selling point, while “Max” has a million different meanings and is a dumb thing to call your streaming service. “Quibi” was a better name.
$9.99/mo.
Of course, the 2025 HBO Max is just a shadow of what it was the last time we saw it in 2023. The service has dumped lots of important animation and most titles children may enjoy. The service has throttled back its slate of streaming originals. Although Max brought aboard the NBA from TNT, HBO Max won’t have that luxury – TNT lost its basketball rights to NBC and Amazon.
The re-rebrand comes at a pivotal point for Warner Bros. Discovery. The company is breaking apart. Butterfingered clown Zaslav will take the reins of the good stuff, soon to be titled Warner Bros. Discovery Streaming & Studios. That portfolio includes Warner Bros. movie and TV studios, HBO, HBO Max, DC Studios, and TNT Sports (international).
On the losing end is current WBD CFO Gunnar Wiedenfels, who gets stuck with Warner Bros. Discovery Global Networks (WBD GN). That spinoff company will be stuck with Discovery Channel, Bleacher Report, HGTV, CNN and its upcoming streaming service, TNT, TLC, Cartoon Network, Food Network, TBS, Adult Swim, Discovery+, and what’s left of TNT Sports in the U.S. Oh, and Gunnar has to eat the “majority” of WBD’s $37 billion debt load.
All of this is to say if you ever felt unqualified for your job, you could surely do a better job than David Zaslav. Just write checks to really creative people and stay out of their way. They’ll let you come to their fancy parties with pretty celebrities and people will pretend to like you in exchange for final cut.
If David Zaslav fell into a cave, no one would miss him except the salesmen on commission at Fleece Vest Warehouse.
Anyway, we’re back to HBO Max. I guess that counts as a win in the never-ending news hellscape of 2025.
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