Max Being Renamed ‘HBO Max’ Because CEO David Zaslav is an Incompetent Boob
In a move that illustrates the absolute ineptitude of its leadership, Warner Bros. Discovery announced today that Max is going back to its old name – HBO Max – this summer. Yes, we’re serious.
David Zaslav, the fleece-vested moron who literally earns $1 million per week as President and CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery, said: “The powerful growth we have seen in our global streaming service is built around the quality of our programming. Today, we are bringing back HBO, the brand that represents the highest quality in media, to further accelerate that growth in the years ahead.”
It’s unclear if attendees at the Warner Bros. Discovery Upfront presentation in New York burst into laughter at the announcement.
$9.99/mo.
How Did We Get Here?
Hiring David Zaslav to run your media company is like hiring Frankenstein’s monster to be your child’s nanny. He is clumsy and easily startled and has no ability to think about the repercussions of his actions. Your child is going to get thrown in a lake.
Zaslav is in charge of Warner Bros. Discovery because he went on a golf outing with AT&T CEO John Stankey. Seriously. AT&T bought WarnerMedia for $108.7 billion in 2018, but Stankey became frustrated by the media assets over time. He wanted AT&T to double down on cellular and broadband and felt investors would never truly value the movie and TV assets.
So when Zaslav invited Stankey on a golf outing, the two men started talking. And Zaslav convinced Stankey to part with one of the world’s great media portfolios. On April 8, 2022, Zaslav officially took over the newly-named Warner Bros. Discovery.
Zaslav has a long history of destroying media brands. Do you remember when TLC actually meant “The Learning Channel”? Or when Discovery Channel was focused on discovery? David Zaslav swooped in to ruin those channels in 2006.
After inflicting us with “Dr. Pimple Popper” (2018), “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (2012), and “Amish Mafia” (2012), Zaslav decided he needed to ruin more than just a handful of cable assets.
When Stankey dumped Warner Bros. into a new company with his golfing buddy in charge, Zaslav got straight to work demolishing the brands.
In a long-winded 2023 presentation, Zaslav said he would transform HBO Max into an improved service called Max: “the place every member of the household can go to see exactly what they want at any given time.”
Just over two years later, Zaslav and his underlings are shouting the exact opposite. Today, streaming head JB Perrette said, “We will continue to focus on what makes us unique – not everything for everyone in a household, but something distinct and great for adults and families.”
Want to watch a bunch of executives who previously worked on world-class entertainment try to sell you on trashy reality shows during the dumb “Max” 2023 rebrand? Here you go:
Pay special attention around the 18-minute mark, when Chairman and CEO of HBO Casey Bloys tries to contain the vomit rising in his throat as he is forced to hype the low-effort reality shows that got dumped in his lap after having led the prestige HBO brand for the 7 years leading up to that moment.
As Streaming Smarter reported earlier this month, the Warner Bros. Discovery team finally came to grips with their mistake when survey data told them the obvious: people who want prestige drama are not going to spend the rest of their day streaming all 51 seasons of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.”
To this point, Zaslav has been slashing through the Warner Bros. Discovery portfolio. He killed off the Boomerang streaming service, dumped most of Cartoon Network and Adult Swim from Max, prevented a completed “Batgirl” from ever hitting theaters, and killed a completed “Coyote vs. Acme” (which may now see new life after a deal with another company). Zaslav also failed to secure a new NBA deal, so TNT will become a ghost town.
When Warner Bros. Discovery began trading on the Nasdaq (April 11, 2022), it was $24.08/share. As I write this, it’s $9.04. Great job, Dave.
And if you needed further proof Zaslav is a butterfingered buffoon, here’s what he said about “The Flash” in 2023: “It’s the best superhero movie I’ve ever seen.” The movie was a massive bomb, earning $55 million its opening weekend and finishing with only earning $108 million domestically. It cost a reported $220 million to make. You can watch it for free on Tubi if you want.
